Pack Creek Ranch, San Juan County, Utah
Mid-October, cool weather- the promise of rain.
Caveat: Sometimes I think I have nothing new to say or write about. But on some subjects, my thinking hasn’t changed. So, I review what I’ve written and published over the last 30 years and bring my thoughts up to date. Here’s an example.
HALLOWEEN NOSTALGIA
Halloween is coming – my favorite holiday.
Whatever well-meaning adults may say or wish, IT IS THE CANDY, stupid. Of course, too much sugar will rot your teeth, make you fat, spoil your appetite, and make you manic and even sick.
I don’t care.
A three-day chocolate binge once a year is something I look forward to.
Besides, my mom is not around now. Bring it on.
And it’s not true that I’m a bad influence on children.
I don’t eat candy around them. I accept their surplus, as a favor to their parents, and eat it alone whenever I want.
This is one of the perks of seniority.
For Halloweening I used to wear my white rabbit costume, with a black mask, blinking red nose, and fake blood running out of my mouth in which I wore fake fangs. And I moved along the dark streets in that baggy-pants rolling lurch perfected by young rapsters-in-the-hood.
Occasionally I barked.
Scary.
People were always surprised to see the Easter Bunny at Halloween – especially the Big Bunny of Death. I figured that even the Easter Bunny has a dark side. He’s probably unhappy with his very limited role of hiding hard-boiled colored chicken eggs once a year. Big Deal. Being reproduced in chocolate so little kids can bite his head off can’t make him happy with his job, either.
Once, out in the night trick-or-treating with my grandchildren and nieces, I was suddenly accosted by an eight-year-old in a pig suit.
“Stop!” he shouted. He peered at the Easter Bunny of Death with a white beard. “How old are you?” he wanted to know.
Busted by the Trick-Or-Treat Police.
“Very old and very wicked. Did you know the Death Bunny eats little pigs?” I growled. He screamed and ran.
Wish I could have heard his report to his parents about meeting the Easter Bunny of Death.
Bet he never bit the head off a chocolate rabbit again.
Among my possessions are several costumes – ape suit, octopus, chicken, and the big bunny outfit – ready for all occasions. One more I’d like to have is a two-humped camel outfit. Talking someone into driving the back end of the thing may be a problem, but there’s always another idiot available.
The Death Camel ought to freak out a few small folks.
Especially at Christmas.
Death Camels eat Wise Men. Did you know that?
I always see lots of flashlights out in the streets on Halloween.
Ever notice how much little kids like flashlights?
It’s an introduction to adult power.
Toys but not-toys.
Longer lasting and less expensive than a lot of the safe junk we give them.
No smoke, no fire, no calories.
Just give kids real light – to shine in dark places.
Where there would be no light without.
Not a bad metaphor for a basic life mission.
Not really kid-stuff, after all.
Don’t give them cheapo cutesy throwaways.
Give them real grown-up, heavy-duty rubberized flashlights with extra bulbs and batteries, and show them all the neat things you can do with light. Shadow figures. Monster faces. Tag games. Use your imagination.
So they will use theirs.
The purpose of flashlights is to show the Way.
Even white rabbits carry them.
Why am I telling you this?
To remind me and you that it’s important to hang on to the foolish joys of childhood as long as possible – else you get old and die way before your time.
Here comes Halloween again – get a costume – get out there.